i missed november....

whoops. time flies....when you live in louisiana...?

525,600 minutes...How do you measure a year?

It has been approximately 365 days since my first post to this blog.

The year in Review: I...

graduated with a Masters Degree
cut my hair
got a job at Mizzou
quit a job at Mizzou
ate fried green tomatoes
made new friends
missed old friends
worked at the alpine shop
have been to boston
bought a hammock
maintain (mostly poorly) a blog
stopped watching Law and Order SVU because it gave me nightmares
experienced a hurricane
have seen Seattle
killed 14 roaches
binged on ramen noodles even though i could afford real food
watched Grey's Anatomy religiously
sang in the car so loud and long I lost my voice
watched Mizzou football win big
watched Mizzou football fall hard
still love Mizzou football
have been bowling 3 times
fell in love with walmart fruit smiles
own a pair of heels
paddled my kayak
threw up
got big kid insurance and a retirement plan
witnessed a race to the white house by a black man & a woman
filled countless conversations with movie quotes
saw a bayou
spent Turkey Day in OK where the wind comes rolling down the plains
sent an email
applied for 24 jobs in the Pacific Northwest
was rejected 24 times for jobs in the Pacific Northwest
talked to myself
sent a letter in the mail
have been called Miss Becca
saw the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 45 times
ate a meat pie
went to St. Louis in a snow storm to see Wicked and eat on the Hill
drove to Austin and back with my mom
met the president of Northwestern State University
have been the majority
bought an iPhone
sold an iPhone
bought an iPhone 3g
have been to Salt Lake City
cut my hair again
have driven a Uhaul 800 miles
sprained my ankle riding down a banister
wore the same outfit for 4 days straight
worked the sound board for a Division 1 University football game
rode my bike
dressed up
ate a mighty max super dog
have been the minority
made pumpkin pancakes
lost a cat (max)
saw Michael Phelps make olympic history
saw michael phelps bomb on saturday night live
have an office
have windows in my office
purchased an iMac
had 2 friends' houses broken into
talked on the phone
played Wii
bought a Wii
became a guitar hero
moved to Louisiana
went to church
wore the same 5 shirts every week for 2 months
have been to a wedding
heard of a divorce
rode in a prop plane
walked on a tarmac
slept in
had a roommate
lived by myself
saw a movie
have friends who are pregnant
have friends who have babies
have friends that are babies
watched Animal Cops
have been to Dallas
went to class
watched my brother on tv
got a job in Athletics Academic Advising
got a new cat (jonah)
watched the phillies win the world series
went to the beach in North Carolina
wrote a paper
have gotten up for work successfully
laughed
cried
got my 3rd tatoo
saw a lot of college baseball games
stalked you on facebook
moved friends out of houses
moved friends into houses
have driven through Arkansas 4 times
gained weight
celebrated Homecoming somewhere other than Mizzou :(
got flowers
said in an interview that I sold adult toys(i meant kayaks & bikes)
read a couple books
watched the Band of Brothers HBO series

i guess what i am trying to say, is that i've lived life. my life.

i did not find hope or friendship in arkansas.

alas, hurricane (or himmicane more appropriately) Gustav managed to leave Natchitoches with far less damage then anyone had predicted. By the grace of God, my house and cat were completely unscathed.

Out of desperation I left Annie in a make shift bunker for Gustav when I travelled north for the first time as an "evacuee" - although I wasn't really evacuating... I was planning on being in St. Louis anyway for Coop's wedding. However, because of Gustav all of my flights were cancelled. I was moved from flight to flight until I gave up. Luckily NSU cancelled classes Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday that week and I had already requested Thursday and Friday off, so I packed up stella and began working on Annie's hurricane bunker. you should have seen it-i was pretty proud, think army fox hole meets childhood fort meets kitty playground...all in my bathroom.

The highlights of my trip to St. Louis:

-Getting to sleep in
-Attending Coop's very classy "bachelorette party" at D'Vine Wine & Cheese in Kirkwood (i use quotes because there was no paraphernalia or nakedness involved, thus comprimising it's status as a true bachelorette party)
-Attending Coop's pre-rehersal Luncheon at Mimi's cafe and enjoyed being surrounded by some of the most wonderful women ever(and the most wonderful and DELICIOUS muffins the size of your head ever)
-Coop's Wedding: I can't say enough about how beautiful Coop was, the ceremony was, how much fun the reception was. All in all, the events surrounding the Cooper/Wade wedding were an absolute blessing. It was wonderful to see old friends, meet new friends, and be there to witness such a blessed union that only God could have dreamed up.

alas, the end of my trip. Sunday morning bright and early, I re-packed stella full of clean laundry and the booty that I plundered at Trader Joes and my mom's pantry and headed south for the winter, much like a flock of seagulls, or wait, a flying V, or better yet a school of fish....you get the point.

When I hit arkansas, it hit me. I have great friends, i've been spoiled rotten, and my standards are far higher than most. While I like my job, and my boss (Jodie who is also my friend-duh), Natchitoches just isn't a bustling metropolis of talented, hysterically funny, beautiful, intelligent, caring, gifted, and witty, nurses, doctors, accountants, public affairs loving folks, advertising execs, student affairs professionals, etc... with great taste in music, you tube videos, food, culture, and wicked great dance moves.

all in all, I am not sure if it is where we came from, what we've learned, who we've met, where we've been, or what we've done, the folks in my life are pretty phenomenal. And in cities literally across the nation and even the planet, my friends are changing peoples lives, and giving me some hope in where the world may end up.

gustav sucks!

who knew two weeks into my first "big kid" job i'd be out running a hurricane.

a full update is much needed and hopefully will happen shortly.

nectarines, revivals, and open air...

God sure does have a funny way of smacking you right in the face when you need it....

if you read my last post you know that i'm having a bit of a go of it here in columbia trying to get a job in the pac nw and trying not to miss my friends too much... alas, this weekend brought a much needed slap in the face and a renewed faith that things will work out when they work out, and God is in control, not me. it's sort of a long story so stick with me...

friday I was overwhelmed by summer, fresh nectarines so juicy you have to stand over the sink to eat them, a great bike ride that kicked my out-of-shape butt ( i mean it's not a triangle or anything), a chill night on the futon with annie and disc two of band of brothers, the perfect temperature to sleep with a fan in the window, and a good nights sleep...

saturday was just your basic day- a little work at the shop, some grocery shopping, and the rest of disc two of band of brothers.

today however has been a day to put down in the books. sunday. i slept in, as i have been doing every sunday since school ended, but today when I woke up I realized that finally, not only does the air conditioning actually exist, but it has been turned on!! praise Jesus.

i decided yesterday that i would kayak today, and that is what I did. after a leisurely breakfast I unpacked my kayak gear, loaded up my car and drove to little dixie lake about 15 miles outside of columbia. windows down, switchfoot blaring, holding tight at about 55/60mph. it was great. i arrive, get my boat in the water and i'm off.

after a long and hard paddle, a sore and sunburned version of myself pulls my boat out of the water only to realize i was too exhausted to get it back on the top of my car by myself... the fist sign of a future slapping- a guy and his girlfriend had also just finished on the water and were parking their big metal old school rowboat and drinking the last of their beers, I got annoyed by their mere existance... and as i make a last ditch effort to get my kayak on my car I get man handled by it and almost crush myself when said guy comes over and offers a hand, DANGIT! first slap of the day, don't be quick to get annoyed.

after i get my boat tied down and all of my stuff loaded back in the car, i role the windows down and turn up switchfoot. i needed gas. luckily there is a gas station right by the entrance to little dixie. so, I pull in, gas up, trade in my winning diet dr pepper cap for a frosty liter and hit the road. what a great ride home.

as i pull into blockbuster to trade in band of brothers for a new DVD, it hit me. I left the gas station with my wallet sitting helplessly on top of my trunk. i had been distracted by the gas pump, you see, after it clicked to let me know stella was full I gently removed the pump only to have gasoline spew from it all over my car and the ground. so, put my wallet down to have a free hand, and i grabbed the squeegee thing and cleaned off my car and while i was at it, cleaned all the windows...

thankfully the girl at blockbuster was kind enough to let me rent my new movie sans ID. directory assistance was in fact no assistance at all, so i call my mom in a panic to ask her if she could look up the conoco station in millersburg, missouri on the computer so i could call to see if my wallet had been turned in...she looks it up and texts me the number, no answer, no answer, so, I hop back on the road. I am thinking, "what a horrible ending to the first good weekend i've had in awhile! you idiot!!!! someone is going to find it and go on a shopping spree..." as I was scolding myself and blowing everything out of proportion my mom calls back. Kari had found my wallet and will meet me at the little white church right before you get to the gas station.

because my mom is a helicopter and i am a child who obeys, i carry a laminated "in case of emergency" card with me in my wallet everywhere I go with all of my mom's contact information on it. Kari, a sweet woman from Millersburg and her husband were on their way to the Millersburg Babtist Church Revival and found my wallet in the middle of the road... She told me she felt bad about going through it, but was glad she did because she found my emergency card. I offered to by her a tank of gas to show my gratitude, but she wouldn't let me. she said she was just glad i got my wallet back. you better believe that I thanked God for my wallet and that ridiculous emergency card and people like Kari in the parking lot of that little white church.

God smacked me right in the face today with a big dose of grace.

Things are on the up swing i think. I'm ready to face the rest of this job search and all of my free time with a renewed faith that God has a plan and He will carry it out in His time. and in the mean time, i'll apply for more jobs and get to work on seeking after Him more and being in His word, so that I will never forget or lose sight of what He has planned, what He has done for me, and His grace and mercy that I so often find myself draped in and yet am so undeserving of.

the whole world is moving and I'm standing still....

ever feel like your feet are part of the sidewalk and all you can do is stand there and watch everyone else live there lives?

the weepies said it best in thier song "world spins madly on" here are the lyrics:

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on
Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on
I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

current events in my life include:
moving to the apartment in the woman's basement officially
advising with the college of business for summer welcome (i love it)
working at the alpine shop
applying for more jobs
watching the college world series religiously
trying not to melt in this mid-missouri summer
dreaming about living somewhere were there is mostly just spring and fall.

avoiding the blog

it's true, i'm avoiding this blog. and I think its because anything that I write here seems so final or official. and my plans aren't final, I am sort of just existing or barely surviving this time of constant uncertainty and transition. so, I regret to inform any readers of this blog that i have but few things to post as of today. and they are this:

i no longer am employed by the University of Missouri's department of Student Life...

i will be moving out of my current residence in approximately 11 days...

i have applied for more jobs...still hoping and praying to end up in the PacNW...

annie the cat hates the wii...

and on most days I prefer the red seedless grape to its bitter relative the green seedless grape.

holy buckets

i graduate with a masters degree on friday. holy buckets...

i still don't have a job, and thats fine. patience, patience, patience... but the hard thing about all of this is columbia.

see, i was an undergraduate at Mizzou and had great friends and great experiences here. then I left and went to canada after graduation for awhile and thought I missed columbia so much, the not-too-small-town feel, the MKT, downtown's fun little shops and restaurants, it's subtle sort of charming appeal. I've even often said that if columbia were at the foot of a mountain I would stay here forever. but when I came back for grad school columbia was different and lonely, and new again and it was hard to be back and not recognize what I had come to love about it. i realize now that that was because all of the things I had come to love about columbia had moved away, and that it wasn't columbia so much that i loved, but the people that were here with me.

and over the last two years i've met some really phenomenal people and rediscovered my love for columbia, a new and different love, of MU Baseball at Taylor Stadium, addison's sweet potato chips, movies at the new ragtag. But again, it hasn't been the chips and games, but the conversations that swirled around them, the time i got spend with people that I enjoy.

and at the end of the week they are all setting out to begin the next part of what life has in store for them. I have a feeling that I am about get lost all over again in a city where i've lived for 6 years.

so, on friday, I will graduate with my masters degree...

I have no idea what the next part of my life holds, but I did get some great advice from a good friend of mine. and i need to remember it more often:

"friendship (with God) means being so intimately in touch with God that you never even need to ask Him to show you His will. above everything else in life seek intimacy with your Maker first. sometimes we get so caught up in His plans for our life we forget about Him. press into Him, not for an answer or an outcome but because He is your first love and cares more about you than where you are going."

such great advice. Lord open the eyes of my heart to see You and know You more.

i suppose it is time for an update...

well, it is april 20, and i still don't have a job. which, is fine, i guess. i keep hearing that all you need is one, and while that is true, I am certainly developing a complex. The good news is that I have 10 applications that are still "active". 5 of which are in the Seattle/Tacoma area and the other 5 are all over the US. I know that God is probably watching and laughing at me because I am honestly moderately freaking out about all of this, and He is all "for i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope..." (jer 29:11). so i know that in His time His plan will work out. I just wish I had a bit of an insight to His timing and plan, especially since my lease runs out in june...I mean I can be homeless, I know the principles of outdoor living, but I don't really want to put it to the test, and I'd hate to have to sell Annie on the black market.

In other job news, my friends in my program are getting awesome jobs all over the US, so I will always have fun places to visit. Wooo! one of them is actually in the city that the movie Steel Magnolias is filmed in/based off of, Natchitoches, Louisiana. How cool is that?!? Another friend got a job in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and another in interviewing in Waco as we speak. Crazy, eh?

It is chaco season, and that is something to celebrate about! I have been sporting them for a few weeks now, but today I believe we really have turned the corner on the weather in Columbia. It's been manic for the last month or so, hopefully it'll stay spring for awhile now. And if its chaco season that also means tis the season for unusually long capri pants, get excited folks. I know I am.

well, i suppose that was an update. alas, nothing ground breaking in Columbia, Missouri. fear not, when there is actual news, you are sure to find it here. perhaps this needs a picutre....

i shall call it: perspective:i need some.

getting or not getting a job...

so, this whole job search thing is soooo manic. first you find a job and get excited about the possibilities. then your resume gets forwarded to the department, and then get rejected. I mean I know that it is a necessary part of the process or i'd have 7 jobs right now. but, it doesn't make reading the stock rejection letter that has managed to sneak into my inbox any easier. all that to say that i have 4 active applications out, which will hopefully turn into a job-all of which are with the University of Washington (3 in seattle and 1 in tacoma). i've received 3 rejection letters, 1 at seattle university and 2 at portland state university.

all i can say is that this is certainly a test of my faith that God is in control and that He will put me where He wants me.

I have three more jobs to apply for this week, 1 at UC Berkeley and 2 at University of Colorado Boulder, while they are academic advising jobs, they aren't in my first choice locations. There are also a couple of Admissions jobs at UW Seattle and Tacoma..but I'm not sure I am ready to apply for jobs that aren't advising positions. We'll see how desperate things get.

so, my prayer is for a job, hopefully in or around seattle. how wonderful would it be to get a job where God's beautiful creations are just outside my window. as i type this my kayak hanging above my head is hoping to get off the wall and into the water somewhere other than the middle of missouri.

a sampling of my favorite pics from seattle

here are a few of my favorite pictures from my trip to seattle to visit coop and fiance mike! better late than never right?!?!?!

a view of the city from queen anne's hill, one cool spot in the city.



my favorite picture from the market. can you find the something in this picture that probably shouldn't be there?



the UW Tacoma, where I applied for some jobs. Tacoma is a neat little city.


sunrise at 34,000 feet.

February

Whew, january is over.

February brings with it a fresh group of Summer Welcome Leaders, the "busy season" of the job search, and continued work in my assistantship, internship, and class.

So far, nothing real exciting has happened on the job front, but i am constantly reminded that it is still really early. I just want a job. know what i mean?

The newbies had their first training yesterday, and I am expecting good things from them. So far, SWocho is off to a great start.

I love my internship, even if one of our students was arrested for vandalizing 42 cars in the Virginia Avenue Garage while being 19 and drunk. My internship this semester makes me feel super productive, as class is going well, and thus far I am just pounding out the projects I am working on.

Over the last couple of months I have been so aware of the inconsistencies of my heart. i am in constant need of grace and am so aware of my powerlessness without Him. and yet, i feel like I am on a treadmill, running but not actually getting anywhere.

the big tree

so, yesterday i went to the big tree and drove all aorund eagle bluffs. it was good to get out of the "city". i feel like i am suffocating in my own skin.

january....

i haven't had much to say lately. but I can tell you this. i love seattle. i got back from a trip there about 12 or so days ago, and haven't been able to think of much else.

i'm in sort of a quiet place here lately. the kind of days where you just want to listen to your ipod all day and if you you don't talk to anyone that is okay.

anyway, it's january.