ready, set, live.

so, it seems lately that i have heard over and over that people "can't wait for thier lives to start" or they are "putting their lives on hold" for whatever reason and its quite likely that I, myself have used a similar phrase. yet, somewhere between then and now, i picked up a bit of philosophy, probably from a cheezy movie like Dirty Dancing or one of the other 34 cheezy movies i've seen lately, and i think that it is quite applicable to this time in my (and most of my friends and peers') lives. that is, for me at least, the last few years have been frought with transition after transition, change after change, and less and less certainty about my future.

the bit of philosophy that I've learned is simply that life started a long time ago, somewhere around 25 or so years back. and this is it. we have been given one life on this earth. one chance to do all of the things we ever wanted to do, and while I can't wait to have a husband and a house and a fence and a dog and a career and whatever else, these things don't mark the begining of my life, they mark the begining of a new track, a new chapter, or whatever sort of arbitrary separation of time one chooses.

so, ready, set, live.

Skydiving

So, by now if you are reading this blog with any sort of consistancy, you will haev realized that I love analogies. That said, here is what I've been thinking about for the last couple of days.

This making grown up decisions (concerning the job search) business is a lot like skydiving. Follow me here. The backstory: I recently applied for a job with A&S advising, was offered the position, and subsequently turned it down. The analogy begins here. So I'm flying in this plane toward my future, right, and in the middle of the flight I am faced with two choices, stay on the plane and land back in the middle of Missouri to take the job, or, open the door and jump and see where the winds blow me. Standing in the open doorway, I'm scared as heck, knees shaking, dry mouth, sweaty palms, thinking that it would be so easy to go back to my seat put up my tray table and ride out the rest of the flight, while also thinking, you've been here for 6 years, it's time to Cowboy up--say holy buckets and jump. So, I jumped, unsure of where I'll land, knowing only that it won't be in missouri, and that i won't know where I am going until I get there. The first 30 seconds are complete and utter chaos mixed with panic, what did I just do...and then freedom.

So here is where I am now, I have nothing holding me down, I'm 25 and I'm pretty sure I can do anything I set my mind to, leaning totally and completely on my faith in God and knowing that He has a plan for me and that He will provide for me what He sees fit. And you know what, I think I'm okay with that.